Well, this month is pretty much over. Feburary is Valentine's month, and I enjoy doing alot of decorating for this day second only to Christmas. They have some really cute pink and red balloon hearts you can find at the Dollar store for a dollar apiece that I'll fill with helium to hang around the house. I also have some garland to wrap around posts or swing at the windows. When I was in the Philippines last, I picked up some Asian made hearts that I can decorate around in the room in addition to the Asian boxed-typed hearts I can put chocolates in and eat later. Fun, fun!

This time of year is also a good time to meet new people, maybe someone special. A good friend of mine just got engaged on her birthday this month , and I am so happy for her. She was having a good feeling he was going to ask her, as her family was acting rather strange, and she found out that her fiance now had recently spoken to her father and also the parish priest. The gentleman's sister had also just asked her about ring prefences and style. Well, they went out for dinner and he suggested they should go for a walk on the river. Well, not long afterwards, she texted me to say she was now engaged. I am pretty sure she is on cloud nine these past few weeks. They hope to get married before summer.

This has not been the first guy that she has dated. Is is common to go out with a few people before finding the "right one" for you. This guy was a traditional Catholic to begin with, and  they had spent some time working together at the same school before things took off and he asked her out on a date. They would go for coffee just round the corner from the school. She was shy, but I encouraged her. He had good morals and came from good family. It looks like it will work out.My firend was in her late twenties and she was worried that she had missed "the boat." No, she hadn't; but she needed assurance that the right time will come. And the same will be for you, just trust in God and put yourself out there, either at church or online, as Catholics are kinda spread out these days.

Until next time!

Melissa

Marriage at Cana

Hello to all ! I sincerely hope your year is turning out well. This past Sunday, Father preached from the pulpit about the Sunday's Gospel. We all most likey have heard of the Marriage at Cana where Jesus and His disciples along with the Blessed Mother attended. I think it would be so cool to have these important guests in person at one's wedding. But of course Jesus is  there and present when we receive Him in our hearts and souls at our wedding mass. I'm sure Our Lady is there as well, looking down on us and ensuring all goes well on that special day of our lives.

Well, Father in his sermon emphasized that this was the very first miracle that our Lord performed. I don't believe He had originally planned it that way, as He told the Blessed Mother in the Gospel that "His time had not yet come." Maybe He planned to raise someone from the dead as His first miracle. The Gospel does not say how Our Lady found out that the wine had run out. Maybe she had heard it from one of the waiters who had confided in her. I am sure Jesus knew exactly what was going as the marriage feast progressed, since He is God and knows all things. In Jewish weddings, the men and women are separated into two large groups, and Mary had to leave the company of the women to cross the garden or wide market area to approach the table where Jesus and His disciples ate. When she reached His table, she told Him what He already knew "They have no wine." Jesus seemed to have rebrucked her, saying "What is that to Me and thee." But the BLessed Virgin took matters into her own hands. She was a women who did not want to waist another second and save face for the bride and bridegroom. She was also His Mother, whom Jesus would not and could not refuse her anything. And that's why Mary continued to tell the waiters ,"Do whatever He tells you."

This first miracle of changing the water to wine was at a wedding. I am so excited that it was, as I believe good weddings are miracles from God to continue the human race. It was also a miracle for the disciples, who were following Him and starting to believe in Him, but were not quite there yet about Him being the Messiah. It also has a good message for all of us...And a reminder to say our daily Rosary. God answers our prayers, I believe quicker and maybe in a more pleasing result if we go thru Mary to ask God for a favor or help. Let us not forget our daily prayers!

Hello again and welcome to all new members! The summer has come and gone and before you know it, it will be Advent and Christmas.

I was just at a square dance recently in St. Mary's, Kansas, accompanied by my brother and his wife for some wholesome fun and exercise. It was a very lively dance run by the caller whom I have known for 15 years.( I am sure he has been doing this for much longer!) There were many couples on the dance floor enjoying themselves. There were some refreshments for sale to keep the guests cool and collected. Since I did not exactly have my own date, I sat on the sidelines and watched apart of the time when I was not talking to friends or greeting passerbys. But I did notice on the left wall of the big gym, alot of girls sitting there in a row practically waiting to be asked to dance. I looked around and there were some guy hanging outside but not many. Where were they? A squaredance is an excellent place to meet and socialize. Maybe they forgot....too busy....or maybe there are not enough traditional boys in this town.....I am pretty glad I have already found my mate! It can be pretty frustrating looking, and what if the choices are too small, even for a partner in a dance. It can be great for the guys but not GREAT for the girls, especially when there are so many.... And in this parish of 3,500 souls.......

Anyway, a husband of one of my close friends happen to walk by and stopped to talk. He commented that this was a nice squaredance and although he voiced he does not dance, he appreciated the wholesome fun of squaredancing and highly recommended it. However, when he glanced to the left wall of the gym and saw what I had noticed earlier in the evening of the row of girls, he was pretty concerned..These were his very words,"Look at that! Where are the guys around here? That is pretty sad!" Then, as he proceeded to look at the square dancer and the happy faces of the couples, he made another comment that made me smile and agree, " Yes, he is right."  "Look here, this is where alot of future marriages will come out from."

Well, one of these days, perhaps next year, we may be able to offer a type of atmosphere where singles Catholic boys and girls can get together and make friends, share similarities,and possibly more, God willing....

                                                             Until then....

I was recently at a conference in St. Mary's and Father Alphonse was  speaker of the evening. He based his talk on purity and was giving examples of how prayer helps Catholics whether practicing or not had been saved on account of prayer to either keep them on the right path or to return to it if they had lost the faith. A very good practice he recommends is the Three Hail Mary's each morning and each night. I think this would an excellent habit to start if we are not already doing it already. Our Lady will certainly love this devotion and assist us in our daily trial and temptations as well it will show her our devotion to her.

One fine example occurred in Naples. Perhaps you have heard of it, but I would like to reiterate here. This one gentleman had lost the  faith and was recently was hosting a dinner. A local priest was interested in attending as there was talk that the man owned a monkey who served him in his house. The man told the priest that he was not interested in converting back to the faith but the priest merely stated he wanted to see his pet who would be serving the guests at the table. The man then said that the priest was welcome. At dinner that night while all the guests were seated, the man rung the bell for the monkey to serve. No sign of the monkey. The man stated that this was odd and rang the bell again

 stating, "He always comes imediately." After awhile, the priest suggested they look for his pet. After searching, the priest found the monkey under the owner's bed. The monkey kept moving further back under the bed when called, and then started hissing. The owner did not know what to make of it. The priest then stated that he knew what was wrong. He commanded the monkey to come out and say who he was. The monkey hissed and came out from under the bed, and stated that he was indeed the the devil who had taken the form of a monkey to serve his master's need and was waiting to strangle him at night the moment his owner stoped saying the Three Hail Mary's each morning and night. Then he vanished. The man was deeply moved and asked the priest to hear his confession.

I thought it was a great true story and would like to pass it on to you!

Situations With Divorce

Some people feel that if a person has been married but is now divorced, he or she is now free to date. Now divorce is a legal paper stating you are no longer legally married to another, according to the states opinion. However, according to the Church, in the eyes of God, what really should matter is that there can be no true divorce if two parties are lawfully married. Let me quote Jesus' own words from the New Testament in the writings of Mark:" Whoever divorces his wife and marries another, commits adultery against her." Jesus does not take "divorce" lightly, and this advice for all to hear and follow, including our present times. So if you happen to befriend a divorced person, she or he is unavailable and they should not be pursued if the former spouse is alive or the marriage has been proven valid by the church. One needs to remember that even if the person you might be interested in no longer lives with his or her spouse or whether the state believes the marriage is still legal or not, one cannot just date him or her anyway. In the eyes of God, a person married is a person married til death of one of the parties. Only the church can decide that a marriage was not actually valid when it occurred, after careful study.

Some people think divorce is the same as annulment. Well, the state does not annul; the church does. Annulment can take a very long time.The church does undertake a timed process to look into a wedding that took place and determine if it was actually valid or not. In other words, they consider whether a valid marriage actually took place at all. The Catholic Church cannot dissolve a marriage but can determine that a marriage in the eyes of God actually did not take place and no marriage binding truly existed in the first place with the evidence put  in front of them. (I will go into more details next week about grounds for annulment.)

Finally, it would be ideal to find someone without a prior or recent attachment, rather than going through the pain of having to refuse to go out with a person due to their previous marriage or attachments.

CHOICES TO BE MADE WHILE DATING

Ideally, when one is dating, there aren't too many complications to overcome. However , there can be issues especially when the usual proper guidelines of conduct are overlooked.

If the case arises when the girl becomes pregnant, there are some decisions that may need to be made. This can be a very trying and difficult time on both parties. Anger, frustration, guilt, depression can easily provoke people and hasty decisions should not be made. Every case is different and the right decision may be not the same in all cases. Some couples may choose to wait until after the baby is born before deciding what the next move will be. With a baby itself on the way, there is alot of planning to do, and one may not be able to concentrate fully on marriage and discerning if the person one is dating is still the right one for him or her. On the other hand, there may also not be enough time to get married sooner if you have not been dating for a long time and have made the wedding plans scheduled on shorter notice. Things can be more expensive this way, for example, the venue, food, cake, the dress without adequate time to plan. Furthermore, the priest will not marry a couple quickly without proper wedding instruction and classes.

I used to think that if a couple was pregnant, they had to get married. Well, there are some choices to be made, for the interests of all parties involved, including the baby. The decision will be a difficult one, in which both parties should seek advice from the priest and their families. One option is to have the baby and give it up for adoption. The couple may not be right for each other, and decide they need to part ways. Or they could still consider marriage after birth, but in the meantime, may give the baby for adoption or have other parents care for the baby. It would be great if they still want to get married and raise the baby together. Or another option is to keep the baby and choice not to get married if they feel they are not right for each other, or it simply was not the right time.

Hopefully, the right decision will be made for all, and ideally no will judge them the less now or in the future. But in any issue, large or small, we will ask Our Lady to help us make the right decision!

PREPARING FOR A GOOD MARRIAGE

We all want a good marriage in the end...One that will last as well as be filled with joy and contentment. Good preparation is a must for a great life together in Holy Matrimony. We all know we should be chaste and resist temptation prior to marriage. A wedding and marriage should not be looked on as just a formality with a $20,000 budget nor just a formal ocassion where there are five signatures on a special piece of paper. Marriage is a spiritual bond between a man and a woman with God preceding. It is a sacred union that a couple enters into. When and after vows have been said only then should a women be treated like a women and a man like a husband. If one waits for marriage, one will treasure the gift of each other more than if one did not wait for marriage. Any vice only damages a marriage and does not help us obey God in a pleasing manner. Proper character and virtue will do  quite the oposite. Being chaste and pure as well as patient, humble, obedient to God's laws, and willingness to sacrifice for eaxh other will help us build  a life-long relationship. The more one helps each other thru a trial or keep one from fallling into sin, the more you will thank and love each other for the future. It is a great privilege to kneel before the altar on your wedding day without any past regrets, especially nowadays!

We should also remember that not all engagements lead to marriage. During the engagement process, yes we are planning to get married, but it is also during this time that we see whether or not we are meant for each other. That is why it is very important during this time to be very focused and not distracted by too much romance in order to decifer if this person you are dating is the right person for you. Again, if you are intimate, it is very hard to see this. Also, if you later break up, you may look back and see it as an unpleasant experience that you might have wished had not happened. If one has been with several people, it is not as special when you do find the right one, or the person you are marrying may feel at times the same that he or she  will not be sharing something special only with you. This is certainly something to think about, especially if one dates alot!

In closing, we all want an honest marriage. In marriage, we will be entirely each others, not before. Sex in marriage is a gift to each other. Before marriage, it is just taking, it is not committment, and it is not pure but selfish. Your future mate is really a gift from God. Why not come to the altar after making a sacrifice of making an effort to keep your engagement pure beforehand? This is a gift I'm sure Our Lord will be very pleased with. And certainly will come with many blessings.