MARRIAGE PLANNING PART TWO

Continuing off from last week, prior to a wedding, there are some discussions between both parties before that important step. What are each other's goals in marriage? Have you discussed children? How many are we hoping for? If these numbers aren't right, there could be some surprises. Do you agree on education, hopefully a Catholic one, and where would you send them to school? Is homeschooling an option? What about immunizations? There are mixed reviews on this, and many, including my brother-in-law and sister-in-law hadn't thought about it until they had kids and noticed they disagreed had diferent views. And where would you live? (My husband and I are still working on that one!) Some women don't want to leave the town where they lived and grew up. Some still want to be near their parents. Have you thought about what if a job separated both of you for some time? Would either party be okay with that?Can you handle long distances or separations? It is hard if one is especially in the army/navy/air force, or for that matter, Iraq.

Money is another huge issue in a marriage. Many traditionals feel it is okay to be poor, and God will provide. Well, maybe it is okay for you, but for providing adequately for a wife and kids, you need to rethink this. Education is also not cheap. God expects us to do our part for our family. He does not want idle subjects, but He wants us to labour for our kids with His blessing. You certainly don't want to be a burden to someone else, and how can you help others and the Church if you don't take the means to provide and then some for yourself and family. You never know when emergencies come up. Money always helps. There is always alot more stress when the father doesn't have enough money coming home. The wife may need to get an outside job, and the children may suffer from neglect or attention. Even the Bible advices proper preparation before marriage.

Our Catholic faith is very important in our step to marriage. It is best if both parties are Catholic (and traditional!) in order to have a similar ground for building a family. Marriage can be hard enough without having diference of opinion on matters of faith. The Catholic Church frowns very much on mixed marriages as the risk of the married spouse loosing his/her faith is great and the children don't have both parties to totally guide them in the right direction. Sure, the non-Catholic may promise to raise the kids Catholic but even the Catholic party may get lukewarm and nothing for the child's Catholic upbringing gets done. This is a serious matter, especially if a soul eternity can be at stake. On the upside, the non-Catholic can convert, and all is well. (My father-in -law is an example). But it takes time and prayer.

In closing, communication is a great key before marriage.Talk to your fiance about important matters before the big day. It will save a lot of headache in the future!

Til next week

Melissa