MARRIAGE PLANNING PART ONE

Deciding to get married is a very important step and time in your life. There are many questions we should ask ourselves before embarking on this journey for when we say

 "I do", there really is no turning back. First, we should make sure this is what God wants, not just what we want, and thru prayer, the sacraments, and advice from our confessor and family, we will have our answers in time. Also,

 we should be certain we have no religious calling.(People can still make it thru marriage even if they had a religious vocation,

 but it will be more difficult). It would be good to spend some time in church just speaking to Our Lord about what we would want, and dream, and hope for, all in His good time, before picking a mate. God hears and will answer our prayers on what is best for us, and probably better than we could have hoped for,if we had looked around on our own. This will put God as

number one in their lives. Many people so often make decisions and choices on their own and then

later, much later, they will ask for God's help maybe when they have time or when the going gets rough.Or they may think of Him only when they about to take their vows in hopes for the blessing for themselves

and their future.

Many people get tied up in the whole wedding thing. We need to get the perfect dress, a great setting for a reception, a gettaway honeymoon, maybe even win "couple of the year" prize. But foremost, we need to get the "right spouse." Sure, we want that person to be perfect and great, the best of bunch,

 the envy of the town. But is this person a good friend? Will he or she stand by you in good or bad. Do you feel close to this person, and I don't mean physically. How well do you know him or her? It's best not to be intimate now. Why? Many reasons, and this is besides the fact that it is a sin before marriage. There is plenty of time to be intimate after the wedding. Also, when two people are physically involved, judgement of the other person is cloudy and it really hard to stand back and evaluate them and see any flaws or view their

character when you are right up in the other person's face.

Next, we should figure out why we want to be together. Is it for selfish reasons? Hopefully it is not because we are lonely or just want someone to cook for us. Nor should it be for material gain. It should not just for pleasurable experiences, for that may not last and people tend to move on to "new experiences." What brings you both together? There should be some kind of romantic feelings. Here, I don't mean infactuation of the other person. Look at this other person. Do you really like him/her? And how do you both act if there is a disagreement. Do we have anger issues that need to be checked before marriage? Can we compromise for the better, and to please the other?

The thought of marriage is certainly, hopefully,

going to make us think before we take action.

Until next week.

Melissa