FRIENSHIP FIRST

When we see someone and there is an instant attraction, what should we do? That can depend on what sex you are. If a guy is attracted to a girl, he may want ask her out right away without thinking too much what type of girl she might be. Girls on the other hand may meet someone they like but traditionally don't ask the guy out; they wait to be asked.

If a girl really likes a certain guy, it is generally not prudent to tell him unless you have a very strong personal connection prior to that. Even then, imagine how awkward that can be, especially if it is not reciprocated! (Oddly enough, I was just talking to a friend where she and also a friend of hers approached their respective guy interests about their feelings and it was not reciprocated.)Relationships should never be rushed into. Any serious relationship should be taken with an open mind and a thoughtful course. A guy cannot move forward with a girl if he feels pushed, and I am sure he wants to think deep down it was his idea from the start. Guys very much enjoy the pursuit and may only enjoy the hunt, except for the popularity and fun in an unserious relationship. Again, a guy doesn't want a guy he can get too easily, thus the "hunt" is over.

It is very important that both girls and guys get to know each other first, that is being friends before advancing to boyfriend and girlfriend. How can a person truly love someone if they don't take the time to get to know them first? If you jump too quick into a serious relationship, you do not really know who you are dealing with and feelings take over and one gets blind to seeing all the qualities the other person has nor any of the particular flaws one may see too late to make a proper and well-thought decision in choosing a future mate.

In the Catechism, we learn that we are made to know, love, and serve God. We cannot love and serve God unless we know Him. So too in relationships, we must know someone first before we can truly love. We cannot love someone/something unless we know who or what it is. To know and learn about someone is a vital key.

Nor should girls play hard to get. Building a relationship is not a game. Honesty is vital to a good relationship. It is not helpful to continually tease a guy to keep him interested. It is childish and who knows how long you can keep that up. Moreover, the guy will not get to know you if he is always trying to figure you out and may eventually decide that you are a waste of time. A girl can have some mystery to her but she does not play games.

Lastly, let's proceed with a strong basis of friendship in our quest for the right mate. If a girl waits patiently and puts her trust in God, the right guy will ask her out when he is ready. Of course I would think it okay for the girl to give him a hint or two!