FEAR

Some people are afraid of getting married for this or that reason. Some feel if divorce runs in their family, it will happen to them too. This instance would be a natural feeling and such people in a family of divorce need a little more encouragement and support if they choose to marry the person they are dating. There also needs to be a positive trend that marriage can work in such a family, and show that this is not a genetic trait. IT's a choice.

If you are dating someone, you certainly are looking to see if this other person is the one for you, otherwise one should not date. Of course, if you have a religious calling, you would not date, but focus on serving God. On the other side, one should not run to the convent to avoid confrontation of a possible  marriage union, just because it ended with those you know. A lot of people nowadays just give up, not try to make the marriage work or ask God's help. They go on their feelings and let that dictate their actions even if there is no real difficulty in the marriage state. "I've changed," or so they say.

In order for a marriage to work, the dating needs to be spent on marriage preparation, not totally wedding planning. Discipline is the key;thorough planning leads the way. We need to practice virtue in order for a good marriage to last. For example, in a race, one has had to practice many hours before the big day in order to have any hope of winning. One also needs to know what he is up against, who his oponents are, his strenghts and weaknesses. So too in marriage planning, we need to practice all the virtues necessary to succeed in a healthy marriage. We need to be pure of heart, honest with our fiance/future spouse, true to one person, and considerate of one another. If we excel in these steps, marriage will flow smoothly and will last. Just like a race, if we don't get ready, we won't make it, and we can blame no one but ourselves for failure, as only we can make it with our efforts and God's help. If we know our weaknesses, we will avoid what does not help us succeed and avoid any temptations or people that will lead us astray.

There is also a fear,"What if this is the wrong person?" Well, we should calmly and carefully choose our partner. Ask the advise of family and friends.Ask the priest.Then make a decision. Marriage is a leap of faith, but should be a well-thougth out one.

So if marriage is for you, jump! You won't be alone. Ask Jesus and Mary and St. Joseph to help you.

Melissa