WHETHER TO STAY IN A RELATIONSHIP

We often hear that a girl will decide to stay with a guy who may be troubled or have issues because she wants to help him get thru them. Furthermore, she also gives him what he needs because she feels it will help the relationship. She may even be afraid of him, and may possibly tell her close friends about this or not. In these instances, it may even be too late before others realize there is a bigger problem for their friend. This guy does not need to treat a girl like this at all. If he is having a problem in his personal life, he certainly should not be in a serious relationship. He will not be able to give the full and proper attention to her while dealing with his own issues at the same time.

A girl wants to find a nice guy who will treat her like a lady and eventually put a ring on her finger. A girl does not need to try and "save" a guy because "he needs me more than ever" or "he couldn't handle it if I left." A girl usually has a heart to help a guy out in need or in trouble, but oftentimes she will get hurt in the process and the guy never improves or becomes a better man. Rather he depends on her more and becomes a bigger burden than she bargains and may feel trapped and unhappy in the situation she is now in. He may also threaten her if she leaves. What an unhealthy relationship! I certainly wouldn't want a guy coming out of rehab. And I highly doubt that this will lead to a happy marriage.

Now, whose advice can one listen to while in a questionable relationship? Very often, it is one's close friends. Studies have shown that with a girl, her friends alone are a great judge of character and can predict if a relationship will last. A good friend's advice can be true but very hard to take, however. All my friends who advised me were right all along with regards to my boyfriends. They can see as bystanders and without an emotional connection the direction a relationship is heading.

So women should step back if a guy has too much on his plate. If he pushes or belittles her, all the more reason to step back or end the relationship. One can't solve other people's problems. I remember someone urging me to date someone because I could "save" him spiritually. I don't think I need to tell you that this made me very uncomfortable and was an immediate turn off.  I could "lead" him down the right path. God does not expect that of us girls. He does not expect us to be martyrs for guys. Maybe we can be friends but dating, certainly not now. A guy will respect you more if you stand up for yourself. Also, if she does not put up with his treatment of her sends a message that even if he has problems, he still has no right to put demands on a girl or abuse her in any way.

Remember, a healthy relationship is good grounds for a lasting one. A pure one is also a lasting one.